Attachment In A Relation Affects Interest in Sex?

New Delhi: “Attachment” in relation refers to the binding knot. The more solid the attachment is the happier relationship would be. It was widely assumed that the term “attachment” tends to make us think about the emotional bond between a young child and their primary caregiver.

But, over the years, sociologists have observed that the same characteristic of the emotions are developing in the bonds in adult romantic relationships.

A secure attachment style infuses factors of more happiness and trust in a romantic relationship. In the other side, those who have characteristics of avoidant attachment make a comfortable zone not allowing any second person in his zone. Such attachment reluctant person loves to be more self-reliant and, consequently and avoid interpersonal closeness.

However, those who anxiously attached in a romantic relationship can doubt their worthiness of love and actively seek out reassurance from their partners.

Those in the two latter categories, perhaps not surprisingly, have been found to report lower relationship and sexual satisfaction. Couples in deeply attached relationship sometimes struggle on bed due to instability in brain developed by some micro emotional complexes. These micro complexes come up due to extra care, possessiveness and emotionally dependency.

However, until recently, we haven’t known all that much about how attachment style might impact our sexual desire. And, perhaps even more importantly, the research on attachment style and romantic relationships has almost exclusively focused on heterosexual participants, making it unclear whether folks in the LGBTQ+ community would have similar or different experiences.

In a new study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, Dr. Kristen Mark, Laura Vowels and Dr. Sarah Hunter Murray (yes, that’s me!) investigated the degree to which attachment style might be related to sexual satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, and sexual desire in a sexually diverse sample.

Their sample included 955 participants consisting of 63 percent cisgender women, 31 percent cisgender men, and 6 percent genderqueer individuals. With regards to sexual orientation, 55 percent the sample were heterosexual, 20 percent bisexual, 11 percent gay, and 7 percent lesbian. All participants were given questionnaires that focused on their attachment style, sexual satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, and sexual desire.

The analysis suggests that across sexual orientation and gender identity, securely attached individuals were more satisfied in their sexual and romantic relationships while anxious and avoidant attached folks reported lower satisfaction in these areas.


While both anxious and avoidant attachment styles were significantly and negatively related to satisfaction, avoidant attachment style was found to account for more variation in decreased satisfaction levels.

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